我想做你的狗
《1》 Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock,
Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
謝耳朵：剪刀剪紙，紙包石頭，石頭砸蜥蜴，蜥蜴毒死斯巴克，斯巴克擊碎剪刀，剪刀砍斷蜥蜴，蜥蜴吃了紙，紙反駁斯巴克，斯巴克蒸發石頭，最後就是一直都那樣的，石頭硌壞剪子。
《2》 Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
謝耳朵：你為嘛哭呢? 佩妮：因為我太傻了!
謝耳朵：這可不是什麼好理由。大家都是因為傷心才哭嘛。比方我吧，我總為別人太傻而哭，因為人家愚蠢搞得我很傷心
《3》 Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Raj：我不喜歡蟲子行了吧?嚇得我半死。
謝耳朵：有意思。你害怕蟲子，還有女人。要見著個瓢蟲準讓你神經分裂了。
《4》 Leonard: What got into him?
Penny: Oh, a couple of virgin Cuba Libres who turned out to be a little slutty. Leonard: You didn't.
Penny: You do your little experiments, I do mine.
雷納德：他喝什麼了?
佩妮：可能是杯並不太純的純自由古巴酒吧。 雷納德：你不是吧。
佩妮：你們管你們做實驗，我管我做咯。
《5》 *Howard is teaching Sheldon Chinese*.
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin. Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
霍華德：話說，你終於要學普通話了我還真高興。
謝耳朵：為嘛?
霍華德：等你說順溜了，有十多億中國人民等著你去煩，你就不用來煩我了。
《6》 Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'
雷納德：你在佩妮那兒幹嘛呢?
謝耳朵：吃了頓飯，玩了點兒遊戲，然後留下過夜了。哦，現在我對什麼叫“床伴”有了更深入的理解，你高興吧。
《7》 Penny: I give up. He's impossible!
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.
佩妮：我放棄了。他真是不可理喻。
謝耳朵：我不會是不可能的啊，我存在即有可能。我覺得你想說的是“我放棄了，他不像是真的。”
《8》 Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
謝耳朵：我才沒瘋呢，我媽帶我去測過好吧?
《9》 *In tattoo salon*.
Girl: What are you gonna get, Raj? Raj: With my luck - Hepatitis!
女生：你想要什麼呢，Raj? Raj：幸運的話——得個肝炎就行了
《10》 Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch.
謝耳朵：啊，地心引力，汝乃沒心沒肺之婊子。
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