優衣庫店長
1、別人的錢財乃我的身外之物！
Other people's money is my life a thing apart！
2、要在江湖混，最好是光棍！
In the river's lake， preferably bachelor！
3、不怕被人利用，就怕你沒用！
Is afraid of being used but you don't！
4、不是變化快，而是你太菜。
Not change quickly， but you are too。
5、長得真有創意，活得真有勇氣！
Long is really creative， live really have the courage！
6、廢話是人際關係的第一句！
Nonsense is the interpersonal relations the first sentence！
7、不要和我比懶，我懶得和你比。
Don't than lazy with me， I'm too lazy to than with you。
8、英雄不問出路，流氓不看歲數。
Heroes do not ask a way out， the rogue don't look at age。
9、人生自古誰無死，哪個拉屎不用紙！
Everyone must die， which shit is not paper！
10、老娘法眼一開就知道你是個妖孽了。
The old niang eyes opened， you will know a uber。
11、我又不是人民幣，怎麼能讓人人都喜歡我？
I'm not RMB， how can let everyone like me？
12、別跟我談感情，談感情傷錢。
Don't talk to me about feelings， talk about feelings hurt money。
13、婚姻的殺手有時不是外遇，而是時間。
Sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair， but time。
14、隻要鋤頭舞的好，那有牆角挖不倒？
As long as the hoe dance well， there's the corner dug to fail？
15、沒有錢，沒有權，再不對你好點，你能跟我？
No money， no power， don't point to you， can you tell me？
16、真的猛士，敢於直麵自己未化妝的臉。
Really brave warrior， dare to face her face without makeup。
17、他們說我是bt，讓我去做ct，結果我是et。
They say I'm a bt， let me to do ct， the result I am et。
18、沒有不透風的牆，沒有不能上吊的梁。
No windtight wall， no can't commit suicide by hanging of beam。
19、令人不能自拔的，除了牙齒還有愛情。
A cannot extricate oneself， in addition to the teeth with love。
20、我那麼喜歡你，你喜歡我一下會死埃。
I like you， so you like me will die。
21、人如果靠吃飯活著，那飯不叫飯，叫飼料。
If they eat to live， that rice not call rice， called the feed。
22、帥有個屁用！到頭來還不是被卒吃掉！
Handsome have a fart to use！ In the end is not eaten by single！
23、作為一個怪獸，我的願望是至少消滅一個奧特曼。
As a monster， my wish is to eliminate at least one ultraman。
24、天賜你一雙翅膀，就應該被紅燒…
Gift you a pair of wings， you should be to braise in soy sauce……
25、英雄難過美人關，我不是英雄，美人讓我過了關。
Hero sad beauty pass， I am not a hero， a beauty let me close。
26、懷才就像懷孕，時間久了才能讓人看出來。
Bosom just like pregnant， time is long can let a person see out。
27、想汙染一個地方有兩種方法：垃圾，或是鈔票！
Want to pollution a place have two kinds of methods： trash， or money！
28、鴛鴦戲水，都他媽淹死；比翼雙飛，都他媽摔死。
Girlfriend， his mother drowned； Fly wing to wing， all his mama fell dead。
29、我以為我很頹廢，今天我才知道，原來我早報廢了。
I thought I was decadent， today I just know， originally I had scrapped。
30、唯女人與英語難過也，唯老婆與工作難找也。
Only women and English sorry， only the wife and work hard to find。
31、但兩個人相遇，接下來的不是故事就是事故。
But two people meet， the following is not a story is the accident。
32、你讓我滾，我滾了。你讓我回來，對不起，滾遠了。
You make me roll， I roll。 You let me come back， I'm sorry， rolled away。
33、念了十幾年書，想起來還是幼兒園比較好混！
Read the book more than a decade， kindergarten to think of it is still relatively good mix！
34、如果你借太多的錢給一個人，你會令此人變成壞人。
If you borrow too much money to a person， you can make the person become bad guys。
35、不要吹牛逼、請把牛逼還給牛、因為牛也需要性生活！
Don't boast forces， please return the cow force to cattle， because cattle also need sex！
36、人之所以有一張嘴，而有兩隻耳朵，原因是聽的要比說的多一倍。
The reason why people have a mouth， and have two ears， the reason is that listening to more than one times。
37、買了電腦不上寬帶，就好比酒肉都準備好了卻在吃飯前當了和尚。
Bought a computer on broadband， like wine meat are ready to live to when the monk before dinner。
38、喝藥遞瓶，上吊給繩，跳樓的揮著小手絹送行。
Drink medicine bottle， commit suicide by hanging to the rope， jumping out of small handkerchief waved off。
39、企業一定要有偷不去、買不來、拆不開、帶不走，溜不掉的獨特資源。
Enterprise must have a steal not to go， can't buy， not dismantle， take not to walk， to slip out the unique resources。
