不做作業
1、我又不是人民幣，怎麼能讓人人都喜歡我？
I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me?
2、我以為我很頹廢，今天我才知道，原來我早報廢了。
I thought I was decadent. Today, I realized that I had scrapped.
3、廢話是人際關係的第一句！
Bullshit is the first sentence of interpersonal relationship!
4、帥有個屁用！到頭來還不是被卒吃掉！
Handsome has a fart! In the end, it wasn't eaten by pawns!
5、別跟我談感情，談感情傷錢。
Don't talk to me about feelings. Feelings hurt money.
6、英雄不問出路，流氓不看歲數。
Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at age.
7、念了十幾年書，想起來還是幼兒園比較好混！
After studying for more than ten years, kindergarten is still a good mixer.
8、沒有錢，沒有權，再不對你好點，你能跟我？
No money, no power, no more hello to you, can you follow me?
9、唯女人與英語難過也，唯老婆與工作難找也。
Only women and English are sad, but wives and jobs are hard to find.
10、人如果靠吃飯活著，那飯不叫飯，叫飼料。
If a person lives by eating, that meal does not call for food, it is called feed.
11、你讓我滾，我滾了。你讓我回來，對不起，滾遠了。
You let me go, I rolled. You let me come back, I'm sorry, get away.
12、想汙染一個地方有兩種方法：垃圾，或是鈔票！
There are two ways to contaminate a place: garbage or money!
13、作為一個怪獸，我的願望是至少消滅一個奧特曼。
As a monster, my wish is to eliminate at least one Ottoman.
14、令人不能自拔的，除了牙齒還有愛情。
It's hard to pull it out, besides teeth, there's love.
15、如果你借太多的錢給一個人，你會令此人變成壞人。
If you lend too much money to a person, you will turn that person into a bad person.
16、長得真有創意，活得真有勇氣！
It's so creative and courageous to live!
17、但兩個人相遇，接下來的不是故事就是事故。
But when the two meet, the next thing is not the story or the accident.
18、買了電腦不上寬帶，就好比酒肉都準備好了卻在吃飯前當了和尚。
Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk before eating when all the meat and wine are ready.
19、英雄難過美人關，我不是英雄，美人讓我過了關。
The hero is sorry for the beauty. I am not a hero. The beauty let me pass.
20、婚姻的殺手有時不是外遇，而是時間。
Sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair, but time.
21、天賜你一雙翅膀，就應該被紅燒…
God gives you a pair of wings, you should be burned red.
22、不怕被人利用，就怕你沒用！
Don't be afraid of being used, just afraid you are useless!
23、別人的錢財乃我的身外之物！
Other people's money is outside my body!
24、隻要鋤頭舞的好，那有牆角挖不倒？
As long as the hoe dances well, can't you dig a corner?
25、不要和我比懶，我懶得和你比。
Don't be lazy with me. I'm lazy with you.
26、真的猛士，敢於直麵自己未化妝的臉。
Really fierce man, dare to face his face without makeup.
27、不要吹牛逼、請把牛逼還給牛、因為牛也需要性生活！
Don't boast, please give back the bull, because the bull also needs sex!
28、要在江湖混，最好是光棍！
It's better to be a bachelor if you want to mix in the lakes and rivers.
29、我那麼喜歡你，你喜歡我一下會死埃。
I like you so much. If you like me, you will die.
30、喝藥遞瓶，上吊給繩，跳樓的揮著小手絹送行。
Drug delivery bottles, hanging ropes, jumping off the building waving handkerchiefs to see off.
31、不是變化快，而是你太菜。
It's not fast change, it's your dish.
32、人生自古誰無死，哪個拉屎不用紙！
From ancient times, who has not died, which shit does not need paper!
33、懷才就像懷孕，時間久了才能讓人看出來。
Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.
34、沒有不透風的牆，沒有不能上吊的梁。
There are no impervious walls, no beams that cannot be lifted.
35、老娘法眼一開就知道你是個妖孽了。
Lao Niang knows you're a monster as soon as she opens her eyes.
