齊鈺
1、每個成功男人的背後，都有一個女人。每個不成功男人的背後，都有兩個。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
2、你可以讓小貓離開肉餅，但不能讓肉餅離開小貓。
You can leave the kitten away from the meat pie, but you can't leave the pie away from the kitten.
3、再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
4、是你的總是你的，別人給的別人也會拿走。
You are always yours, others will give away.
5、我很懶，我很胖，我以此為榮。
I am lazy. I am fat. I am proud of that.
6、加菲貓肯定不是為豬肉卷而生，但豬肉卷一定是為加菲貓而生。
Garfield is certainly not born for pork rolls, but pork rolls must be made for Garfield.
7、噓。千萬不要告訴他們我做了好事，這會影響我的形象的！
Shh. Do not tell them that I have done a good deed, which will affect my image.
8、這個世界上還有很多比錢更重要的東西，比如說意大利麵。
There are many more important things in the world than money, such as spaghetti.
9、工作好有意思耶！尤其是看著別人工作。
It's interesting to work. Especially watching others work.
10、努力工作不會導致死亡！不過我不會用自己去證明。
Hard work does not lead to death. But I will not prove it by myself.
11、你竟然帶了一個又老又沒用的家夥回來，而且不是我。
You brought an old and useless guy back, and not me.
12、如果你不想給誰東西吃的話，就得讓它想著點什麼。
If you don't want to give anyone something to eat, you have to let it think of something.
13、兩個人的狀態是不穩定的，三個人才是！
The state of two people is unstable, and three people are!
14、聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來。
The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.
15、肚子大不可怕，可怕的是肚子裏沒有好東西。
The stomach is not terrible. What's terrible is that there are no good things in the stomach.
16、現在的夢想決定著你的將來，所以還是再睡一會吧！
Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep.
17、這個漢堡包的味道不錯，但不如前八個好。
This hamburger is delicious, but not as good as the first eight.
18、每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
19、後排座位上的小孩會生出意外，後排座位上的意外會生出小孩。
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
20、歐迪，我們去吃冰激淩吧，不過你得看著我吃。
ODI, let's go eat ice cream, but you have to watch me eat.
21、有一位漂亮的女士對喬恩說你真可愛，而你還問我有什麼不對！
A beautiful lady told Jon that you were so cute, and you asked me what was wrong.
22、要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道。
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
23、不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
Don't wait for tomorrow to make excuses.
24、我希望你能知道，你是我生命中最重要的人。
I want you to know that you are the most important person in my life.
25、如果你不能擊敗你的敵人，那麼就加入他們。
If you can't defeat your enemy, join them.
26、有了意大利麵，誰還會吃老鼠呢？
With spaghetti, who will eat mice?
27、愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養。
Love is photogenic. It needs time in darkness to develop..
28、聰明人都是未婚？結婚的人很難再聰明起來。
Are smart people unmarried? It's hard for married people to be smart again.
29、巧克力的麻煩是：你把它吃了，它就沒了。
The trouble with chocolate is that if you eat it, it will be gone.
30、歐迪，走，我們去買一個或九個漢堡包當晚餐。
ODI, let's go and buy one or nine hamburgers for dinner.
31、不，水果蛋糕！這是我不吃的三樣東西之一。另外兩樣是葡萄幹，還有蝸牛。
No, fruit cake! This is one of the three things I don't eat. The other two are raisins and snails.
32、生命中除了吃和睡應該還有別的意義，但我覺得沒有就挺好。
Besides eating and sleeping, there should be some other meanings in life, but I don't think so.
33、寵我，愛我，喂飽我，不許嫌棄我。
Spoil me, love me, feed me, do not hate me.
34、要節約用水，盡量和女友一起洗澡。
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
35、愛情來得快去得也快，隻有豬肉卷才是永恒的。
Love comes quickly, but pork rolls are eternal.
36、鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡。
Money is not everything. Sometimes credit cards are needed.
37、應該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
